Mother's Day

 Mother's Day is a marker in time for me. It was the first time I realized that Jesus was beside me. It became the moment that I always go back to when I first realized that he was there. I always loved going to church. The quiet peaceful light always brought me to a stillness that was rare for me. When my memories replay, I know most of those quiet times brought tears streaming down both cheeks. I never felt that I was special enough for Jesus. Especially not that Mother's Day.

 Motherhood was surprisingly blessed upon me that day. My heart was broken into so many pieces, that it would take a lifetime to put back together. I didn't plan to become a Mother that year, by far I was removed from the life that lie ahead of me. My choices as a young college student did not coincide with a lifetime choice that would forever be my legacy. My legacy was not to be finishing college to become the nurse I dreamed of. My legacy was to be blessed with a unplanned pregnancy and graced with a choice beyond my understanding of becoming a BirthMother.
 Mother's day continues to be a marker for my timeline of blessings. Each year I am reminded of my most significant broken pieces, as well as my finest moments. Each year, I promise Jesus that I am going to be brave this year. I am going to tell every other Mother how Jesus has been beside me every Mother's Day. Everyday after I released my child, to every one after  I reconnected with her. He has been beside me everyday that I wallowed in my hurt and struggled to move beyond it. He has been beside me  with each child he has entrusted to me. This year I am going to keep my promise.